Coming To An Employer Near You

Google Searches for Staffing Answers

Concerned a brain drain could hurt its long-term ability to compete, Google Inc. is tackling the problem with its typical tool: an algorithm.

The Internet search giant recently began crunching data from employee reviews and promotion and pay histories in a mathematical formula Google says can identify which of its 20,000 employees are most likely to quit.

Google officials are reluctant to share details of the formula, which is still being tested. The inputs include information from surveys and peer reviews, and Google says the algorithm already has identified employees who felt underused, a key complaint among those who contemplate leaving.

Yeah, this is just what we need.

Right now, they say that this algorithm is supposed to help them hold on to valued employees. But how long will it take them to determine which employees they DON'T want to retain? You're unhappy working for us? Well, our algorithm shows that you suck anyway, so don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

This will turn your career into the same sort of exercise that college football has become under the BCS. I'm sorry, you fell one thousandth of a point behind the next guy for promotion, because your contribution wasn't as valuable, so you don't get the raise or promotion.

Wonder if this algorithm contains a "screwed-over quotient"?